From the sermon preached on September 6, 2026
Selfish ambition promises to get us what we want faster, but it leaves us with less than we started with. Godly wisdom begins with trusting who God is and what He has promised, even when His timing feels slow. That is the message of James 3 and the story of Sarai and Hagar in Genesis 16.
John Myers, Student Pastor at Believers' Chapel, opened his message with an honest confession: "I am riddled with selfish ambition and bitter jealousy." He said it after admitting that he had not been in a confident place lately. Before teaching through Genesis 16, he asked everyone to open their Bibles to James 3, because that passage had become the lens for everything else.
James, the brother of Jesus, asks a question every one of us has to answer: "Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom" (James 3:13, ESV). The answer has little to do with how smart we are. It has everything to do with which kind of wisdom we live by when we want something and do not yet have it.
This post follows three movements from that sermon. The first is how waiting exposes what we believe about God. The second is what wisdom looks like when God meets a hurting person in the wilderness, and the third is how jealousy quietly destroys the very relationships we long for.
Why Is Trusting God in the Waiting Season So Hard?
John Myers named a pattern most of us know well. There is something good we want, so we bring it to God, and then we grow weary in the waiting. Somewhere along the way, we start treating God as an obstacle between us and the thing we hoped for.
That shift matters because of Proverbs 9:10: "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight" (Proverbs 9:10, ESV). Wisdom starts with knowing God as He really is and honoring Him. When we stop trusting God in the waiting season, we lose that reverence, and with it we lose the godly wisdom we need to live well.
Sarai (later called Sarah), the wife of Abram, is the clearest picture of this in Genesis 16. Ten years had passed since God's promise, and she still had no children. Her conclusion was blunt: "Behold now, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children" (Genesis 16:2, ESV).
So she reached for what she had: wealth, an Egyptian servant named Hagar, and a plan. John called this earthly wisdom, the thinking that says, "If I do it by my own strength, I can get it sooner." Selfish ambition rarely announces itself; it usually sounds like being practical.
As John put it, when we try to cut God out to get the things we think will make us happy, we end up going the other way. Trusting God in the waiting season means choosing, again and again, to believe He is who He says He is.
Take one honest step today: write down the thing you have waited on the longest, and next to it, write what you have started to believe about God because of the delay. That is where trusting God in the waiting season begins; with the truth about where you are.
What Is the Wisdom From Above James Wrote About?
Sarai's plan worked, at least on paper. Hagar conceived, and then "she looked with contempt on her mistress" (Genesis 16:4, ESV). John explained that the sense of the word is feeling lessened, made small and insignificant.
Sarai blamed Abram, Abram handed the problem back, and Sarai dealt so harshly with Hagar that the pregnant servant ran into the desert alone. In the end Sarai had no child, no servant, and no sense of significance. John summed it up from his own journal: if we live by our own strength, we will spend the rest of our lives trying to prove it at others' expense.
Then the story turns. The angel of the Lord found Hagar by a spring on the way to Shur, near the border of Egypt, where she was heading home. He asked her, "Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?" (Genesis 16:8, ESV).
John noticed that God often begins with a question, even when He knows the answer. That gentleness is the wisdom from above James describes: "first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere" (James 3:17, ESV). God told Hagar to return and submit, and then He gave a promise crafted for a woman longing for freedom: a son named Ishmael, meaning "God hears," who would live free like "a wild donkey of a man" (Genesis 16:12, ESV).
Hagar answered with worship, calling Him "a God of seeing" (Genesis 16:13, ESV). Knowing and fearing God gave her strength to go back, which is the wisdom from above James wrote about lived out. Godly wisdom did not remove her hard situation; it changed how she walked into it.
Today, read Genesis 16:7–13 slowly and answer God's question honestly in prayer: where have you come from, and where are you going?
How Does Bitter Jealousy Damage the Relationships We Want Most?
James does not soften the diagnosis: "You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel" (James 4:2, ESV). Bitter jealousy is rarely loud at first. It shows up as measuring, comparing, and keeping score.
John shared two stories from his own life. The first happened in a coffee shop with a friend he had offended the night before. When his friend's questions felt designed to make him feel small, John's old instinct was to make the other person feel small so he could feel big.
This time he did not, because he honestly felt small already. They had what John called the most beautiful conversation of his life. At the end, he gently asked, "Were you trying to make me feel small?" and his friend admitted he was; he had been hurt.
The second story was about tennis. John's brothers are better at it than he is, and the selfish ambition to measure up turned into frustration every time he played. The irony was painful: he only wanted to be good so his brothers would want to play with him, and his anger made them want to be there less.
That is what bitter jealousy does. It destroys the thing it was reaching for. John added that the same thing happens in marriage; when we keep score of what we give and what we get, love becomes a transaction, and bitterness follows.
The way out began with a lie John had believed. He thought his brothers would love him if he were good at tennis, but they already loved him. Bitter jealousy loosens its grip when we stop needing to vindicate ourselves.
Today, think of one relationship where you have been keeping score, and do one small kind thing for that person without measuring what you get back.
What Does James 3 Teach About Godly Wisdom in Real Life?
James 3 lays out two kinds of wisdom, and James 3:16 names the result of the earthly kind: "For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice" (James 3:16, ESV). John closed with three questions to bring godly wisdom into everyday life.
1. Name Your Hopes
The Question: What do I want most in this season?
Sermon Example: Sarai wanted children, and Hagar wanted freedom.
2. Look Underneath the Desire
The Question: Is there selfish ambition or bitter jealousy attached to this hope?
Sermon Example: John's desire to be good at tennis carried jealousy toward his brothers.
3. Find the Lie About God
The Question: What am I believing about God and His promises that is not true?
Sermon Example: John believed his brothers' love had to be earned, but it was already his.
James 3:17 describes what the wisdom from above produces:
Purity of heart that does not hide wrong motives
Peace that makes room for others instead of competing with them
Gentleness that asks questions before it accuses
Openness to reason and correction
Mercy and good fruit toward people who have hurt us
Sincerity without hypocrisy
A Place to Wait on God With Others
Waiting is hard, and jealousy can make us feel alone even when we are surrounded by people. Many of us carry that weight quietly, unsure who we could tell. If you are in Murfreesboro or anywhere across Rutherford County and Middle Tennessee, Believers' Chapel gathers every Sunday on South Rutherford Boulevard, across from Black Fox Elementary. Groups meet at 9am and worship begins at 10am; you will find jeans, fresh coffee, and people who want to know your name.
Choosing Wisdom From Above Over Our Own Strength
Sarai chose her own strength and ended up crushed, while Hagar met the God who sees and found strength to go back. The difference was not their circumstances but what they believed about God. As John prayed at the end of his message, our hopes and desires are not in our hands, and God is a giver of good gifts.
Come find a seat at Believers' Chapel this Sunday and hear more of God's Word with people who are still growing too; plan your visit here.
If you would like to talk with someone before you visit, our staff would love to meet you, so reach out here.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Start by naming what you have come to believe about God during the delay, and compare it with what Scripture says about Him. Proverbs 9:10 teaches that "the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom" (Proverbs 9:10, ESV), so trust grows as we return to knowing and honoring Him. God is not in your way; He is the source of every good thing you hope for.
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James 3:16 warns that jealousy and selfish ambition lead to disorder (James 3:16, ESV). Look underneath the desire and ask what you think getting it will prove or earn. Often the jealousy rests on a lie, such as believing love must be earned, and naming that lie is the first step toward freedom.
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Sarai waited ten years and then tried to force God's promise through her own plan, which brought only pain (Genesis 16:2–6, ESV). Instead of acting in your own strength, bring your weariness honestly to God in prayer. Sharing the wait with other believers in a small group can help you hold on to His promises.
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El Roi is a Hebrew name commonly translated "the God who sees." Hagar gave God this name in Genesis 16 after He met her alone in the wilderness, calling Him "a God of seeing" (Genesis 16:13, ESV). It reminds us that God notices our affliction even when no one else does.
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Earthly wisdom relies on our own strength and shows up as jealousy, selfish ambition, and conflict (James 3:14–16, ESV). The wisdom from above is "first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere" (James 3:17, ESV). One protects and promotes self, while the other makes peace with others.